Happy? Nah... Sad? Definetely not.

I get a lot of people checking in on me, wondering exactly "how I'm doing..." or "hey, heard you had a seizure, hope you don't die!" I'm here to clear up exactly how I'm doing.

I'm Ehh. When I say Ehh, it's not "I'm doing bad, investigate further" but it's also not "Holy crap, I just moved to New York, my life feels perfect!" It's exactly what it sounds like. Yeah, my brother died a few months back. I'm still not really over it. I've got a lot of emotional issues to work out... and PS, I'm concerned about my family. I recently moved back from New York to live with my sister so we could be a support structure for each other. I was very concerned from afar about how my family was doing, and I decided its most prudent for me to be back in Utah. Utah isn't working out that well yet either, between the low pay, under appreciated feeling, job switcheroo and udder lack of health benefits, I'm not that happy to be here.

Honesty isn't necessarily what people are looking for when they check up on me, and when they show concern, it almost makes me want to lie to some extent. I don't know how anyone can help me, I don't know what you personally can do for me, but the fact that you care about me enough to call is enough. Know that when I respond "I feel really crappy today," you replying with "well, regardless of how you're doing, I still love you and care about how you're doing daily. I know things can be grey, but they'll look up," is a good answer, as long as its sincere. Sincerety is all I desire. I don't need someone to fix my problems. They're not going to be fixed easily. You caring about me though, will go a long way. Probably a longer way than you think.

Big ups to people who care about me. It really means a lot to me. If you read this blog and haven't emailed in a while, hit me up. I've got a real easy email address... it's yourname@randallatnyc.com . Email me, ping me, call me and say hi. I want to know how you're doing.

[completely unrelated]
Oh, and this just came across my RSS reader: Nintendo Wii launches November 15th for $250. I wish I had some cash. Maybe i'll save some money.