So basically, let me give you a brief summary of what's happened.
Better yet, let me have google news and technorati give you a summary of what's happened.
I'm still kind of too frazzled to write anything. I'm working on an obit, and that seems to kind of pass the time away for me, but i'm having real trouble feeling comfortable blogging on this one. I'm still in that state of shock, fear, and basically every other emotion (sans happyness and joy) you could go through.
He made a mark, on both the mma community, central california, and myself. He's the reason why I got into TV news. He's the reason why I helped start a college radio station. He's the reason I went to Weber State. He's basically the reason why I'm in New York, and he's the reason why i can't go to sleep, and don't really want to.
Ryan Bennett, my brother, my inspiration.
Without being too long of a blog post, let me get into something a little deeper. I miss my family, version 2.0. For those of you not up to date on the affairs of one Randall Bennett, let me help take you a little deeper. My sister (22 years my senior, although she'd probably not appreciate that term =) died when I was 14. 8 years ago, I went through the hell and horror of realizing that my sister was gone, and now my bro-in-law Kent would be left to raise 4 kids all by his self. It was a different situation, she had brain cancer, it was a three year process, but it was just as hard as this is right now.
Fast forward eight years, brother has 4 kids, dies tragically, leaves the kids behind with sis-in-law Tonya. What's different? I am. I have this eery sense of overmind about how i'm greiving, and how i look at myself through some sort of lens. It's probably wrong, and i'm probably sending all sorts of different vibes to others, but i feel like i'm going crazy. I just want to be a normal person, grieving normally (is that possible?) but instead, I'm looking at myself and my family with this sense of disconnect, and I don't really like it. I'll get over it soon, maybe when i go to sleep.
Thanks for your concern, especially Alex and J. You've never met each other, but you guys have a ton in commmon. I hope this makes more sense now.
As for the technorati and the google news stuff, it is really comforting to see everyone's outpouring of support. I really appreciate everyone who's sent support our way, and who continues to do so.
Guess i'm not too frazzled afterall.