Memorial Notes

So... today was the big-ol' memorial in San Luis Obispo. Pretty crazy times indeed (theme of my life right now.)

Order of speakers (for postarity, and uber-zealous people reading this awesome blog)

Rick Bennett
Myself
Nepal Plummer (Ryan's techie homedawg that helped him start MMAWeekly when I told him I was "too busy." Yeah, I'm an idiot, but also don't know as much as Nepal.)
Dave Alles (Ryan's former KSBY colleague. Dave is the sports director of the station, and freaking rocks.)

Rick started off with a bang. He was the one to read the eulogy (or you-googly, if you're derek zoolander) He did a great job summing up some of the greatest moments of the hitman. I wish I woulda taken notes, because I didn't really get a great mental note of his talk.

Then, I stepped up and started rawking. Yeah, it wasn't the best talk ever given by man, but it had it's moments. I started out by trying to read what I wrote. I wrote an awesome talk, but couldn't read it through the tears (literally) so I closed my PDA (HTC Wizard, Cingular 8125 for you gadget freaks) and started yappin'. I felt like i was really talking from my heart, and I was really glad I had prepared because it gave me the ability to express what I was really feeling, since I had preprocessed some of the thoughts.

Some of the parts that really stick out for me in my talk were the parts where I had the chance to open up about exactly how Ryan inspired me, and how my career echoed his. The hardest moment was definetely when I came to a realization in front of everyone: I'm now officially lost and in uncharted territory. I always had my brother to figure out exactly how to do a career, and since I could look at him, it made it easy for me to move around and figure out what I liked and how to get what I wanted most effectively. Now, that major advantage is history, but I also think I don't need it anymore.

Ryan got me to such a point in my career that I've accellerated past where I thought I would/should be at age 21. I'm in a position to help reshape media and journalism, which sounds overly hyperbolic and probably is a little bold of a statement, but it's my blog so tough. This new project i've been basically blessed with will let me express myself in new ways, and I think will let people take control of their media even more.

I'll be sharing more about the new project as it launches (this week, fools!) but till then, let me get back into what my talk was really about: Ryan. It was really easy to start rambling and talking about what I thought was important, and what I knew was important. I tried to emphasize something that I felt in my core: God will answer your prayers.

Lemme try and frame it in an easy to understand context. When you do something nice for someone, you get a really nice feeling, right? Kind of like a "Yeah, that was the right thing to do" feeling. That's God teaching you a princple of the gospel. He's saying, "You did something really right this time, [insert name here.]" God also talks to us that way when we ask. Yeah, it's not as clear cut, and all the physical indicators aren't there so that we really understand exactly what He's saying, but we get a general sense of what's right, and how to implement it in our lives. I want every single person reading this blog entry to try this little excercise, and see how it works out for them. Pray, with an open mind and heart, and ask if God loves you. I know it might sound preachy, but if you believe that there is a supreme being out there, or a power controlling this universe, try it, and see how it works out. Once you get a bearing on how that feels, try praying about other stuff, and see if your outlook on life doesn't change a little.

So, this is a huge blog post, but we're not done yet. As I wrapped up my talk, I felt really good about the things I said, and really good like I knew I expressed the thoughts that needed to be expressed. I sat down, Nepal took center stage, and shared some of the comments rocking off over at the MMAWeekly forums.

Check out what people are saying at MMAWeekly here and here.

I'm tired, and I know I tend to say I'll post about something and then usually forget, but I've got to go to bed. I SWEAR I'll POST ABOUT DAVE'S AWESOME THOUGHTS TOMORROW.

Also: Real quick deets on travel plans. Heading to SLC tomorrow (early, like 6 am) I'll be in SLC for the rest of next week, and then be heading back home (NYC) on Saturday or Sunday. Email is the winner as the way to get a hold of me.

[ps, I'm going to throw up a post of the obituary that ran, the obit I originally wrote that turned into a skeleton for my video, as well as the talk I didn't deliver tomorrow as well.]